New Premium Scottish Craft Gin Launched

A new premium, small-batch, hand crafted Scottish craft gin has been launched into the market. The new brand has claimed that their mix of botanicals truly represents the local area, as well as having an incredible flavour. They are also using one unusual botanical, wow! The brand is also linked with a place, which currently only has 3 other Scottish craft gins associated with it.

On top of this, the gins packaging, designed by a thriving marketing agency, is at least somewhat unique, incorporating avant garde, steampunk, and art deco design elements on the bottle. You can pick one up for the low price of £44.99 from your local bottle shop or village fête.

The new brand cannot confirm whether they are redistilling grain alcohol, or contracting out production entirely, to quickly get onboard what has been described as a “gravy train”. Despite this, the brand has assured us that they have hand-crafted this gin purely because of a pure, unmitigated passion for the category which suddenly flourished when the market grew substantially.

BrewDog bars refuse to stock BrewDog beers after BrewDog buy-out

Punks across the country have been met with mild shock, as anarchist brewers have finally sold part of their business to “the man” after years of simply jerking him off. As a result of this, their own bars are refusing to sell their beer, with some going as far as to rub the BrewDog name from tapfonts, dog collars and staff t-shirts alike.

TSG Consumer partners, who according to BrewDog, own innocent non-competitive brands including pop-chips, vitamin water and probably pogs or some shit. Other brands which you have been advised “not to think too much about”,  include Pabst Blue Ribbon and Sweetwater Brewery.

This isn’t the first time that BrewDogs reputation as superpunks has been endangered, having brewed beers exclusively for Wetherspoons, and had ongoing success on the backs of Tesco shelves. The company is planning their biggest PR piece ever to mitigate the damage, replacing all the tap water in Cambodia with Dead Pony Club for a week.

A spokesman from BrewDog was quoted as stating their relationship with Pabst was “purely ironic”.